Be kind and merciful.
Let no one ever come to
you without coming
away better and happier.
Mother Teresa
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Happiness
*~* Plenty of people miss their share of happiness, not because they never found it, but because they didn't stop to enjoy it.*~* W. Feather
Giving Challenge
Giving challenge
Few things provide as much satisfaction as being needed. We usually go to great lengths in seeking comfort and pleasure, and certainly do enjoy them. Yet even the most delightful pleasure seems a bit hollow if we're not doing something to make a difference. And so it follows that one of the kindest things you can do for other people is to make it possible for them be needed. In your desire to help others, you naturally think of giving comfort and pleasure. Look for a way to also give challenge -- the challenge to make a difference.
Several years ago, certain residents of a nursing home were given the opportunity to make a difference when they were each permitted to select a houseplant and to make decisions related to its care. After a year and a half, the residents who were caring for houseplants were found to be more cheerful, active and alert, with less than half the death rate as a similar group of residents who were not caring for plants.
Even the most seemingly insignificant challenges can be truly life enhancing. Make a big difference by providing others with the opportunity to make a difference, too.
Few things provide as much satisfaction as being needed. We usually go to great lengths in seeking comfort and pleasure, and certainly do enjoy them. Yet even the most delightful pleasure seems a bit hollow if we're not doing something to make a difference. And so it follows that one of the kindest things you can do for other people is to make it possible for them be needed. In your desire to help others, you naturally think of giving comfort and pleasure. Look for a way to also give challenge -- the challenge to make a difference.
Several years ago, certain residents of a nursing home were given the opportunity to make a difference when they were each permitted to select a houseplant and to make decisions related to its care. After a year and a half, the residents who were caring for houseplants were found to be more cheerful, active and alert, with less than half the death rate as a similar group of residents who were not caring for plants.
Even the most seemingly insignificant challenges can be truly life enhancing. Make a big difference by providing others with the opportunity to make a difference, too.
The Person you Choose to be.
You are the person you choose to be. So choose to be the person who fulfills and brings to life the values you hold most dearly.
Today is your opportunity to express yourself to the world through the life you live and the actions you take. The challenges of this moment provide a rich canvas upon which you can paint the highest vision you have.
Listen to the yearnings of your heart and keep pointing yourself in their direction. By focusing on what is truly meaningful, you will cause much real value and richness to spring forth from the life you live.
Choose to glide right past the shallow concerns that hold so many people back. Keep your eye on the big picture, and create new positive substance as each moment passes.
Go beyond merely appearing to be happy, and dive into the authentic joy of making a positive difference. Give the best that you have to life, and you'll find each day to be even more fulfilling than the last.
There is a treasure within you that is yearning to weave itself into the fabric of life. Go ahead and let it come shining through.
Ralph Marston
Today is your opportunity to express yourself to the world through the life you live and the actions you take. The challenges of this moment provide a rich canvas upon which you can paint the highest vision you have.
Listen to the yearnings of your heart and keep pointing yourself in their direction. By focusing on what is truly meaningful, you will cause much real value and richness to spring forth from the life you live.
Choose to glide right past the shallow concerns that hold so many people back. Keep your eye on the big picture, and create new positive substance as each moment passes.
Go beyond merely appearing to be happy, and dive into the authentic joy of making a positive difference. Give the best that you have to life, and you'll find each day to be even more fulfilling than the last.
There is a treasure within you that is yearning to weave itself into the fabric of life. Go ahead and let it come shining through.
Ralph Marston
The size of God
God is so big
He can cover the whole world with His love,
and so small He can curl up inside your heart.
--June Masters Bacher
He can cover the whole world with His love,
and so small He can curl up inside your heart.
--June Masters Bacher
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Monday, May 18, 2009
My Mantra
My soul is stronger than your soul.
My passion is stronger than your passion.
My heart beats stronger than yours.
I will win
I will prevail.
You have no power over me.
My passion is stronger than your passion.
My heart beats stronger than yours.
I will win
I will prevail.
You have no power over me.
Giggle a Little
I Listen to the creek, and it says:
"Relax; go with the flow.
Tend to what's really important,
and let the rest go by.
Keep moving - don't be
hesitant or afraid.
Lighten up -
laugh, giggle."
Dr. Charles Roper
"Relax; go with the flow.
Tend to what's really important,
and let the rest go by.
Keep moving - don't be
hesitant or afraid.
Lighten up -
laugh, giggle."
Dr. Charles Roper
Remember Me
The best portion of a good
man's life - his little, nameless,
unremembered acts
of kindness and love.
~William Wordsworth
It's nice to be important,
but it's more important
to be nice.
~Author Unknown
man's life - his little, nameless,
unremembered acts
of kindness and love.
~William Wordsworth
It's nice to be important,
but it's more important
to be nice.
~Author Unknown
Jump In
Jump in
It's easy and pleasant to sit back and watch the world. It's even better to jump in and participate.
There is so much you have to offer. There are so many beautiful gifts you have to give.
Weave the thread of your own special perspective into the fabric of life. Become an active part of your world and all will be richer for it.
Get up, get out, get going and get involved. Every day, in all sorts of ways, there are opportunities to make a difference in your unique way.
Put real meaning into life by participating fully in it. Put real value into your world by giving of the value that is within you.
Don't just sit there and watch life happen. Make yourself a vital and positive part of it, and you will make it great.
Ralph Marston
It's easy and pleasant to sit back and watch the world. It's even better to jump in and participate.
There is so much you have to offer. There are so many beautiful gifts you have to give.
Weave the thread of your own special perspective into the fabric of life. Become an active part of your world and all will be richer for it.
Get up, get out, get going and get involved. Every day, in all sorts of ways, there are opportunities to make a difference in your unique way.
Put real meaning into life by participating fully in it. Put real value into your world by giving of the value that is within you.
Don't just sit there and watch life happen. Make yourself a vital and positive part of it, and you will make it great.
Ralph Marston
Moving Forward
When you are ready to move forward, there is a way. When you are no longer content to stay where you are, a new door opens.
When you are anxious to learn, a teacher appears. When you long to make a meaningful difference, a challenge comes along to supply the opportunity.
When you seek joy, you'll see the beauty in all that is around you. When you long for love, there will be those with whom you can share it.
When an obstacle blocks your path, the resources and determination to get around it are available to you. When the problems become more pressing, the solutions become more evident.
When time is short, you find a way to become more effective. When need arises, a pathway to satisfy that need also opens up.
As the minutes, the days and the years go by, life will ask much of you. And in answering the call you'll come to know life's greatest treasures.
Ralph Marston
When you are anxious to learn, a teacher appears. When you long to make a meaningful difference, a challenge comes along to supply the opportunity.
When you seek joy, you'll see the beauty in all that is around you. When you long for love, there will be those with whom you can share it.
When an obstacle blocks your path, the resources and determination to get around it are available to you. When the problems become more pressing, the solutions become more evident.
When time is short, you find a way to become more effective. When need arises, a pathway to satisfy that need also opens up.
As the minutes, the days and the years go by, life will ask much of you. And in answering the call you'll come to know life's greatest treasures.
Ralph Marston
Give as you Receive
We should give as we would receive,
cheerfully, quickly, and without
hesitation; for there
is no grace in a benefit
that sticks to the fingers.
Seneca
cheerfully, quickly, and without
hesitation; for there
is no grace in a benefit
that sticks to the fingers.
Seneca
Giving Up
Giving up doesn't always
mean you are weak.
Sometimes it means that
you are strong enough to let go.
Author Unknown
mean you are weak.
Sometimes it means that
you are strong enough to let go.
Author Unknown
Kindness
Kindness
In this world it's refreshing to find
People who still have the time to be kind.
People still ready-by thought, word, or deed-
To reach out a hand in the hour of need.
People who still have the faith to believe
That the more you give, the more you receive.
Helen Steiner Rice
In this world it's refreshing to find
People who still have the time to be kind.
People still ready-by thought, word, or deed-
To reach out a hand in the hour of need.
People who still have the faith to believe
That the more you give, the more you receive.
Helen Steiner Rice
A letter to my mother
Dear Mother:
I really wanted to take some time to think about your email before I responded in haste or anger. The question you left me was “anything else you want to accuse me of?”
I have not heard from you since your trip to Vietnam. As you know, I had many apprehensions about your trip home, not only because it is a communist country, but also because of all the history and blame that comes attached to it. Your pension to remember and keep a grudge for many years is obviously a trait I acquired, because I’ve never forgotten that you laid blame upon me and my birth as the reason why you could not return to your country after the near end of the war. I will never forget the shoebox you kept in the hall closet with letters from your father requesting your return without me or your husband. I knew then as I know now that you will always make me responsible for that loss, even though I had no say in your choice. Knowing all this, I knew this would be a difficult journey for you, and one that would probably once again awaken your animosity for me, so I felt it best not to bother you until you were ready to communicate with me. If the entire reason for you moving to Georgia, as you often said, was because you couldn’t take the stress from your family, I certainly didn’t want to create more of a problem.
Recently, I’ve had a lot of problems with Megan, who’s now at the age I was when you and I used to regularly go round about in tongue lashings. She’s said and done some nasty things that I take to heart and have a hard time forgetting and forgiving. Last week, we had a sort of intervention with her, in which an epiphany suddenly hit me – it was this behavior in me as a teen that created the rift between you and I, and I quickly shared with her that if she continued on her given path, that the relationship between her and I would end in the same way you and I have. I do realize that the things I said and done as a child still ring in our relationship today, and I often consider this when I grieve for what Mo gets from you that I don’t, and I’m not talking about monetary goods either. Simple contact with her and her children are more than I receive until I complain about it.
The fact that I realize in this epiphany, is that no matter what, Megan is my daughter and I am her mother, and as the adult in this relationship, it is my responsibility to teach her and nurture her and try to give her all that I can to one day make her a strong responsible adult. I cannot hold her accountable for her behavior because she is a child, anymore than I believe you should hold animosity towards me for past mistakes made in childhood. In the end, who she is, and who she will become is my burden because I cultivated those traits in her, as you have in me, and I vow to never turn from this responsibility because I know that a child never stops needing their parent, whether they are 6 or 60, nothing ever replaces a mother’s love and guidance.
Over the years, I’ve come to grudgingly accept that Mo is more favored in your heart that I, and therefore, whenever the kids come with new grandma clothes or Mo gets a lavish gift from you, I know that I must accept that it is the way it is, whether I like it or not. I only hope that you look at the situation with an open mind and realize how much it hurts that neither my girls nor I will ever have that special place in your heart, and why when things go wrong, I always turn to it as a reason for the lack of attention from you. Perhaps it’s a rift that may never be mended, but may it not be so without you understanding how I feel about it. You may be disappointed by the broken relationship I have with Mo, but it is for these reasons that they exist; I can’t stand to be the bastard child, and she can’t stand not having all the attention focused on her.
It gets extremely tiring keeping my responsibility and my promise to you to look out for Mo and the kids when I’m treated like a servant. Only when I’m needed, is what I do appreciated, and otherwise, I’m supposed to grovel in thankfulness over a gift she put no thought into, instead, asking everyone around me what I “needed”. The money wasn’t the point. Certainly you know $20 whopping bucks doesn’t buy much today, but a better use (if its intention were for Hanna’s benefit) would have been to give it to HER to decide what to get, not anyone else. A better alternative would have been to spend TIME with Hanna (which we eventually did last week), just hanging out together, and spending that $20 having a Big Mac or seeing a show. That meant more to me than a bunch of glasses I don’t need – that was the point I was trying to make with you. Not that I didn’t appreciate the thought behind your actions.
Since Mo has evolved with Brandon (who thankfully likes kids more than the Jay guy before him) she now has no use for me to care for her children unless she’s working, and makes no bones about reminding me that she pays for my services and that I’m not Hanna’s mother. I’m treated like a hired hand, when I did and continue to do more for her than anyone would for any amount of money. For Hanna’s birthday I promised her that the next weekend (because her mother had plans for her on her birthday weekend), that we’d go shopping and out to dinner to celebrate, but it had to be on a Friday because I had a committed schedule. Hanna was ok with this and told me that she’d let her mother know she wanted to stay with us on Friday, as she said her mother gave her the choice for Fridays as to whether she wanted to stay with us or her. Suddenly, Mo had party plans, and friends coming over, which was more important that Hanna entertain their children rather that spend time with her family. Mo even threatened to call the police on me if I tried to leave before Brandon came to pick her up (as if that was my intention). I’ve since then never forgotten how crappy she behaved, nor that she cares more about her friends than those that stand behind her and supported her through her bad choices. Now, the only time I hear from her is when she believes we are gossiping about her – truth be told, I could care less about what she’s doing and have better things to waste my breath on, but then again, perhaps it’s her way of gaining attention from me , regardless if it’s negative attention she’s getting. I only shake my head in pity to think that she’s that worried about what I think about her, when in fact, I’ve long learned to stop worrying or caring about what goes on in her life, because none of it matters and my first responsibility is to my own dramatic children.
I can’t expect you to be the mother I would like you to be for me, nor can I be everything you wish I could. I can’t change what has already happened between us and I’m sorry to be such a disappointment to you. I only want you to understand how much I grieve for the relationship I’ll never have with you as long as we travel this path, and hope for a better ending before it’s too late. Unfortunately, life doesn’t serve you second chances and there’s no way to do over what’s already been done. The only hope is for better tomorrows.
Love,
Mel
I really wanted to take some time to think about your email before I responded in haste or anger. The question you left me was “anything else you want to accuse me of?”
I have not heard from you since your trip to Vietnam. As you know, I had many apprehensions about your trip home, not only because it is a communist country, but also because of all the history and blame that comes attached to it. Your pension to remember and keep a grudge for many years is obviously a trait I acquired, because I’ve never forgotten that you laid blame upon me and my birth as the reason why you could not return to your country after the near end of the war. I will never forget the shoebox you kept in the hall closet with letters from your father requesting your return without me or your husband. I knew then as I know now that you will always make me responsible for that loss, even though I had no say in your choice. Knowing all this, I knew this would be a difficult journey for you, and one that would probably once again awaken your animosity for me, so I felt it best not to bother you until you were ready to communicate with me. If the entire reason for you moving to Georgia, as you often said, was because you couldn’t take the stress from your family, I certainly didn’t want to create more of a problem.
Recently, I’ve had a lot of problems with Megan, who’s now at the age I was when you and I used to regularly go round about in tongue lashings. She’s said and done some nasty things that I take to heart and have a hard time forgetting and forgiving. Last week, we had a sort of intervention with her, in which an epiphany suddenly hit me – it was this behavior in me as a teen that created the rift between you and I, and I quickly shared with her that if she continued on her given path, that the relationship between her and I would end in the same way you and I have. I do realize that the things I said and done as a child still ring in our relationship today, and I often consider this when I grieve for what Mo gets from you that I don’t, and I’m not talking about monetary goods either. Simple contact with her and her children are more than I receive until I complain about it.
The fact that I realize in this epiphany, is that no matter what, Megan is my daughter and I am her mother, and as the adult in this relationship, it is my responsibility to teach her and nurture her and try to give her all that I can to one day make her a strong responsible adult. I cannot hold her accountable for her behavior because she is a child, anymore than I believe you should hold animosity towards me for past mistakes made in childhood. In the end, who she is, and who she will become is my burden because I cultivated those traits in her, as you have in me, and I vow to never turn from this responsibility because I know that a child never stops needing their parent, whether they are 6 or 60, nothing ever replaces a mother’s love and guidance.
Over the years, I’ve come to grudgingly accept that Mo is more favored in your heart that I, and therefore, whenever the kids come with new grandma clothes or Mo gets a lavish gift from you, I know that I must accept that it is the way it is, whether I like it or not. I only hope that you look at the situation with an open mind and realize how much it hurts that neither my girls nor I will ever have that special place in your heart, and why when things go wrong, I always turn to it as a reason for the lack of attention from you. Perhaps it’s a rift that may never be mended, but may it not be so without you understanding how I feel about it. You may be disappointed by the broken relationship I have with Mo, but it is for these reasons that they exist; I can’t stand to be the bastard child, and she can’t stand not having all the attention focused on her.
It gets extremely tiring keeping my responsibility and my promise to you to look out for Mo and the kids when I’m treated like a servant. Only when I’m needed, is what I do appreciated, and otherwise, I’m supposed to grovel in thankfulness over a gift she put no thought into, instead, asking everyone around me what I “needed”. The money wasn’t the point. Certainly you know $20 whopping bucks doesn’t buy much today, but a better use (if its intention were for Hanna’s benefit) would have been to give it to HER to decide what to get, not anyone else. A better alternative would have been to spend TIME with Hanna (which we eventually did last week), just hanging out together, and spending that $20 having a Big Mac or seeing a show. That meant more to me than a bunch of glasses I don’t need – that was the point I was trying to make with you. Not that I didn’t appreciate the thought behind your actions.
Since Mo has evolved with Brandon (who thankfully likes kids more than the Jay guy before him) she now has no use for me to care for her children unless she’s working, and makes no bones about reminding me that she pays for my services and that I’m not Hanna’s mother. I’m treated like a hired hand, when I did and continue to do more for her than anyone would for any amount of money. For Hanna’s birthday I promised her that the next weekend (because her mother had plans for her on her birthday weekend), that we’d go shopping and out to dinner to celebrate, but it had to be on a Friday because I had a committed schedule. Hanna was ok with this and told me that she’d let her mother know she wanted to stay with us on Friday, as she said her mother gave her the choice for Fridays as to whether she wanted to stay with us or her. Suddenly, Mo had party plans, and friends coming over, which was more important that Hanna entertain their children rather that spend time with her family. Mo even threatened to call the police on me if I tried to leave before Brandon came to pick her up (as if that was my intention). I’ve since then never forgotten how crappy she behaved, nor that she cares more about her friends than those that stand behind her and supported her through her bad choices. Now, the only time I hear from her is when she believes we are gossiping about her – truth be told, I could care less about what she’s doing and have better things to waste my breath on, but then again, perhaps it’s her way of gaining attention from me , regardless if it’s negative attention she’s getting. I only shake my head in pity to think that she’s that worried about what I think about her, when in fact, I’ve long learned to stop worrying or caring about what goes on in her life, because none of it matters and my first responsibility is to my own dramatic children.
I can’t expect you to be the mother I would like you to be for me, nor can I be everything you wish I could. I can’t change what has already happened between us and I’m sorry to be such a disappointment to you. I only want you to understand how much I grieve for the relationship I’ll never have with you as long as we travel this path, and hope for a better ending before it’s too late. Unfortunately, life doesn’t serve you second chances and there’s no way to do over what’s already been done. The only hope is for better tomorrows.
Love,
Mel
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
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