Monday, October 6, 2008

A Beautiful Mind

Sunday, June 3, 2007
5:03:23 PM CDT
Feeling Quiet
Hearing Silence

A Beautiful Mind

Rain has a way of forcing you to slow down. It's either because no one wants to get wet, or simply the lack of the sun shining slows your metabolism down. In any case, today rain had it's hand on mine.

I really didn't mind so much. I had a list of chores I wanted to accomplish in the gardens, but frankly, I was extremely grateful for the down time.

Because I was wise enough to (finally) subscribe to Blockbusters equivilent of NetFlix, I was in euphoria. I have a huge list of movies I want to catch up on that I never seem to have time to involve myself in. This was my prime opportunity.

I've discovered myself to be quiet the media "freak". I seem to find meaning or value in each movie I watch or any piece of music I fancy enough to play more than once to learn it's lyrics. Television doesn't seem to peak my interest, unless you chose to retro to the sitcoms. Movies take me to worlds and lives I'm always eager to learn about. I have a long list of movies I care to invest my time in, but never enough time to watch them all, so I either end up returning the movie unwatched, or I buy it so I can eventually watch it in my leisure. At this point, I have so many movies (thank God for DVDs and their compactness), they are overtaking and governing the household. I don't really mind though, I'm never at a loss for things to do.

I took this opportunity to finally watch "A Beautiful Mind".

I had absolutely no clue what the movie was about other than the two main actors involved in the film, and the director I have always been enamored with; Ron Howard. I'm not very interested in Russell Crowe work, but I have a soft spot for Jennifer Connelly. Probably from her work in one of my favorite films: Layrinth. Today, she is as beautiful as she was 20 years ago, and I really wish God had bestowed on me some of her ability to make time stand fast from her looks. It seems to like to breakdance on mine.

The story touched my heart in many different levels, and I hope one day my children will invest their time to watch the story of this man's life.

John Nash was an exceptionally great man. He possessed the ability to see things in life others could not. The problem was that he also suffered a debilitating mental illness that should have and could have very well left him a broken man, rather than the genius he is known as today.

Anytime I watch movies like these I assimilate it into my world and my life. Maybe I place too much meaning into these stories, but in the end, they enrich my life and give me better insight into other's thinking capacities.

I've always been extremely envious of anyone with the aptitude to think in a mathmatical sense. I don't have it, never did, and I wish I had some of it because this kind of thinking makes an extreme chess player. Mark had this innate way of thinking and it always left me in awe. He would simply look at an equation and knew how to solve it. Factors that I simply failed to accept "as is", he could work past for the final answer. I hope he is using his gift to better the world.

I was once considered "crazy" or "psycho" by his family. It plagued my days endlessly with the belief that there was possibility in their statements. I became obsessed with the quest to confirm or deny the allegations. I invested great effort finding the exact diagnosis.

Gladly to report, their statements held no validity. I have a long list of professors, medical and psychological doctors to assure me this clean bill of mental health to be true. I carry no extraodinary dellusions in my mind to my realm of reality or the people I choose to see in it. Thank God.

I'm just an ordinary "joe" that has a keen ability to see within others around me, and an emmense passion to love life and protect those around me I hold close to my heart. This was their definition of me. In short, for easiest terms, just color me "mom", or the way I have always believed a good mom should be.

The exceptional point of this story was the love John's wife had for him to conquer this adversity, and this was a journey they walked together. Because of her belief and her love in him, he is today valued as a genius in our community. She was his reason for everything that he was and is to this day.

This month Kevin and I will be celebrating our 10th anniversary together. Looking back, it's hard to fathom that time has marched by this quickly. I remember the person I was then compared to the person I have become (or am becoming, because to stop growing means allowing your soul the opportunity to die). Kevin has his hands full with me, I should say.

I do realize it takes great amounts of patience and skill to put up with my personality. Of the many things I could use to describe myself, easy is not one of them. But I'd like to believe that what I give in return and the love I give others around me is worth this effort. My love for them is infinite, simply because I believe it is so.

Kevin has climbed many rocks to raise me up, and he has provided me the foundation I so securely stand and thrive on. Whether innately, or just great upbrining has provided him with his morals to face our relationship, there is never a day I don't thank the good Lord for bringing him into my world. He has always understood my limitations and needs and he has always done his best to accomodate them. He never allows me to stand alone, but he lets me face my adversities and holds steady to catch my falls.

One of the screenwriters, Akiva Goldsman, said of Nash, "The opportunity to live life long enough to heal, if healing is possible, is often because they've had someone in their lives who have stayed with them".

This movie only confirms my ideals on the great power of love.

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